I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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