somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
