That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
