This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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