Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
