I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
