I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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