So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
