we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
