shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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