I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
