On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
