glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
