You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
