3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
