Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
