Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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