we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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