Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
