3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've blown a few things in my day
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm always down for nudity.
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