i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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