butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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