If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
