I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
