yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
