First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
