After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
