and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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