I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
