Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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