I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
