How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
