Need sex. Gaining weight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
