he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
