sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
