Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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