i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
