I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
