how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
