...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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