If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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