she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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