My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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