so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
pop tarts are not kleenex
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
