and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
