"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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