I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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