So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
