We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
