I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think i got beer on your cat.
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