Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
