dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize