y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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