But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
