i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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