oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
