Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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