well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
