nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
