I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think I just sharted jello shots
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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