David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do herpes really smell.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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