haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
