It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
