so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
