Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
