Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize