Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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