Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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