do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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