I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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