She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
